AftertheFire

On returning home (May Update)

I’ve long been fascinated by the metaphor of “returning home.” It’s one which trails through all types of literature. Sometimes it’s a positive statement: home represents womb-like safety, the innocence of childhood. If only the character can return home, everything will be alright and they can begin again.

Other times it’s a more negative statement. Characters have changed. They’ve made choices and lived lives, and home becomes a place of jarring discontinuity.

I feel very blessed to admit that I feel I have received the best of both sides of returning home lately. After 14 days in government quarantine I arrived home – to both opportunities and growth.

EDIT: One of these was being published in the Eternity Newspaper – you can see my article here!

Opportunities

My family

It was so lovely to see them again, and I’ve enjoyed having regular Broadchurch-dates with my sister.

Novel re-writing

I spent a week re-writing and revising an adult historical novel for a competition. I wouldn’t have had this chance if I’d been overseas, and it was a really wonderful experience. For 8-10 hours a day I lived, breathed and re-constructed my 1879 world. I learnt a lot about writing, and refreshed my knowledge of the the 2nd Anglo-Afghan War; the British Army; The Epic of Gilgamesh; Afghanistan; and 19th century London. So fun!

NOTE: I’m looking for Beta readers… so if you’re interested in reading an adult, historical, Christian novel with a male protagonist and telling me if you liked it, let me know!

Researching

I also feel very grateful to have time to research Thomas Clarkson. I’m captivated by his story as a Christian Abolitionist in the 18th Century, the man behind Wilberforce, as it were. His life and faith are incredible testaments and still impact us today – and there’s very few (read: no) in-print biographies of him. This is my current project, and since he was a prolific writer I’m working my way through his works at the moment.

Language learning

Since full-time study for me won’t start again for a few more weeks, I have begun learning ancient (koine) Greek online. I’m still at the ‘learn the alphabet and sounds’ stage, and currently have a lot of respect for anyone who has ever learnt a language!

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Growth

Dancing in the morning

The Bible talks a lot about the Return of Joy. That come what may, though your whole world go awry, there will be dancing in the morning. This was something I had a hard time truly believing before my travels. I went through a season where I found it really difficult to hold onto hope, because it felt like so much had ‘gone wrong’.

In the past 3 months I have discovered many joys – little ones and big ones – and now I know, not just from faith, but from experience, that happiness does return. The ability to truly rejoice does come again. There may be weeping in the night, but there will also be dancing in the morning.

As long as we live we will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

There are no throw-away seasons

In the same way, before my travels I felt that certain periods of my life were ‘wasted’, best forgotten. Now, after both temporal and geographical distance, I can look back and see that they weren’t. Painful, yes. Inglorious and even embarrassing, yes. But a cosmic mistake? Never.

Likewise, I can see that the time I did get overseas, little though it was, was neither a mistake or a waste.

God does place us where he wants us

Before I left to travel I told God that I was stepping out in faith, not because I am a great woman of faith, but because I had no choice. I didn’t know where He wanted me or for how long, so I asked Him to tell me. To put me in the places he wanted me to be, and for the length he wanted me there.

It turns out that place was Yorkshire for 6 weeks, not Europe for 12 months.

God still sends miracles

Again, when I was looking into options for my sabbatical year, I told God that I wanted the impossible. I wanted to stay somewhere beautiful for weeks on end, with nothing to do save walk and read and love people. I wanted to rest. This seemed (financially and practically) impossible, so in lieu of a miracle I set about making plans which might include at least one or two of desires.

Guess what I got, in the end? Six weeks of rest, with nothing to do save walk and read and love people. I feel so grateful, and so in awe.

You only need one fixed point

I think what COVID has done for many of us (for all of us?) is ripped away everything we thought was stable. Economies, countries, education, work – all these routines and normalities we so often take for granted in Western countries. Before I left I didn’t bother taking insurance for anything except for medical, because I literally said to myself: what else could possibly happen in the countries I’m visiting which could cause me to change plans?

As it turns out, a pandemic can.

And you know what? With everything else in flux, God became my only “fixed point in a changing age” (to quote Sherlock Holmes, rather out of context) – and He was truly the only anchor I needed.

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Where to next?

My 2020 Sabbatical has turned out very different to what I expected. When I began to realise this, I started praying regularly for peace and joy amid my disappointment. Right now, I can say that God has mercifully given me much peace and joy. I have to admit now that I am home, I am not weeping the loss of “normal life” much at all. I wake up in the morning and my schedule is rather heavenly: Read X, Read Y, Read Z, Learn Greek, Pray, Read the Bible, Learn more about God, Run, Call a friend, Watch Broadchurch with my sister.

This will be the last in my series of ‘intentional sabbatical posts,’ so I’ll leave you, like the other times, with the books that have been shaping my thoughts:

Reading

The History of the Rise, Progress and Accomplishment of the Abolition, Volume II – Thomas Clarkson

The Contemplative Pastor – Eugene Peterson

A Portraiture of Quakerism, Volume I – Thomas Clarkson

Locked Rooms – Laurie R. King (still…)

This list looks non-fiction heavy, but since the last post I also enjoyed: Faust – Johann Goethe (English trans.); Sabriel – Garth Nix; The Raven Boys (re-read) – Maggie Stiefvater; The Nine Tailors – Dorothy L. Sayer.

Also, more on Thomas Clarkson: A biography of Thomas Clarkson – Ellen Wilson; The History etc. Volume I – Thomas Clarkson.

 

The Lays of Ancient Rome

I’ve always been interested in how literature reflects and affects society. Perhaps that’s why I am fascinated by the Lays of Ancient Rome. On the other hand, it could just be because they sound cool.

The Lays are a collection of poems by Thomas Babington Macaulay. They are Roman ballads, set in Ancient Rome about Roman heroes, yet were written in 1842 by a Victorian gentleman.

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My Novel Journey

The Book

There’s a book I’ve been writing for a long time, and it’s gone through many evolutions. It began when I was fifteen or sixteen and I read something online which made me wonder: what would the Sherlock Holmes series have been like if Holmes and Watson met during the Anglo-Afghan war?

Then I thought: what would it have been like for any two people of such distinct personalities to meet in a trench? What if a masterful, proud man was terrified of the war – what if he were battle shy or blood sick yet refused comfort? How would another character uncover his secret and comfort him?

But then I asked: well, what if there was more than this masterful character’s personality standing in the way? What if there was some huge social divide – and offering comfort became a question of morality rather than mere humanity?

What if the masterful, proud, terrified man was a murderer?

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